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How to use coping mechanisms to combat stress in hockey

This is an excerpt from On the Inside Edge by Ryan Hamilton.

Coping: Making Positive Adjustments to Stressful Events

Coping refers to the efforts we undertake to master, reduce, or tolerate the demands created by stress. If stressors are potential bombs, coping refers to the resources and skills we use to dismantle them. There are some aspects of coping that exist outside of us. These resources could be supportive parents, coaches, or teammates. It could be having the support of professional contacts like mental performance consultants, therapists, or physiotherapists. Other elements of coping exist within us. These are the mindsets, skills, and strategies we use in the face of all manners of stressors. When we are coping successfully, we are usually

• confronting problems directly,
• viewing situations realistically (not catastrophically negative or naively positive),
• recognizing and accepting disruptive emotional reactions (like anxiety or doubt), and
• engaging in self-care.

Following is a series of strategies we can use to cope with stressors and ultimately make the positive adjustments to stress consistent with resilience.

Problem-Focused Coping

We had a motto in the Hamilton family when there was a stressor, usually a worry, affecting one of us: “Do; don’t stew.” Yes, my children rolled their eyes every time this was said, but for us this meant acting in the direction of the problem rather than dwelling (or stewing) on it. This cheesy slogan is consistent with a problem-focused coping strategy—rather than worry about the problem, go about solving it.

When my daughter worried about her upcoming audition, we encouraged her to practice her lines.

When my son worried about something he didn’t understand in calculus, we encouraged him to talk to his teacher.

When I worried about being able to finish this book, my family encouraged me to put time aside to focus only on writing.

The point was for us to act in the direction of the thing that was causing stress. Often, positive mood will follow positive action, and the thing we were worried about wasn’t nearly as scary as we thought. To quote the work of stoic philosopher Seneca, “We suffer more in imagination than in reality.”⁷

If all the worries that have appeared in my mind over the years had come true, this would be a far less optimistic book. Our brain is meant to find threats, but we aren’t meant to cycle through them on repeat. And if there is a nagging worry in our mind, we should organize our efforts and spend our time taking action to solve the problems facing us. Rather than mentally stickhandling possible worries and pitfalls, we should move the puck and move on.

For a hockey player, it might look like this:

Worried about fitness testing results? Train harder than you have before.

Worried if you are saving enough money for retirement? Consult a financial adviser.

Worried about what your prep school is going to be like? Go for a visit and talk to people who have been there.

Of course, not all stressors are under your control; some things just are the way they are, and for those stressors we need to engage in coping strategies focused on thoughts and emotions.

Emotion-Focused Coping

Emotion-focused strategies are for those stressors we can’t directly change or control; thus, we must change their impact. Although there is a long list of things we can control in hockey, there is also a multitude of things we can’t directly affect, such as

• where the coach puts us in the lineup, or if they do at all,
• the expectations our fans or parents have,
• the schedule or whether we are playing during a pandemic, and
• a past poor performance.

Rereading that journal entry was quite a ride in the emotional time machine. It’s clear looking back that the stress had an impact (don’t worry; I’ve gotten those teeth fixed), but I can also feel myself accepting what I couldn’t change and focusing on what I could do. The reframing we do (small moments lead to big moments; pressure is a privilege) and strategies we implement will shape how deeply events shake us. Emotion-focused coping helps promote resilience by accepting the stressors for what they are and engaging in the psychological strategies to work through, around, or with them.

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Psychologist’s Log:
September 20, 2020—Day 58 in the NHL Bubble

Morning Entry

Got up at 5:45 a.m. with a lot of responsibilities on my plate and worries in my head. I watched a bright orange sun rise through the smoky sky to the east. We lost the first game of the cup final last night, and for the first time in two months I had this fear pop into my head that we might go through all this just to lose in the end. My chest feels tight when I think about it. Losing can do that to you. I had a half-hearted treadmill run after breakfast. I’m feeling sore and a little low on self-regulation. I am internalizing a ton of stress but have to funnel it effectively, so it doesn’t affect my work. I broke my second tooth from grinding; it’s a clue as to the toll all this is taking.

Evening Entry

We got a lot of solid work done today, and I feel like we are focused on solutions. We’ve been through so much together already and are a brotherhood—united by shared purpose and shared sacrifice. The vibe around the team was a positive one. There are still reasons for optimism. I had a great meal at Braven tonight with a few staff members (the Bolognese was excellent). Gonna get up early tomorrow—got to attack day 59.

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MINDSET MOMENT

If you can’t change the problem, change what the problem means to you.

More Excerpts From On the Inside Edge

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