I Golf Therefore I Am--Nuts!
Finally, a book that delves into the warped and obsessive mind of today's golfer. Whether your idea of golf is an occasional round with fellow duffers at the local muni or frequent forays to far-flung courses in search of the perfect round, you'll identify with this book like no other.
Popular golf humorist George Fuller will have you laughing as he makes light of the idiosyncrasies of otherwise sane people who are addicted to this holy, wholly frustrating game.
I Golf, Therefore I Am—Nuts! brings out the humor in situations that all golfers can relate to:
-Looking for Mulligan, the patron saint of forgiveness
-The hype architects and developers use when describing a new course
-Quirks, quips, and superstitions from the PGA Tour
If your eyes light up every time you read about a new driver, your TiVo has golf programming that originally aired in 2004, you receive holiday cards from greenskeepers, or your golf wardrobe doubles as business casual, then I Golf, Therefore I Am—Nuts! is for you.
Table of Contents
Part I - The First Tee
Chapter 1. In the Beginning, There Was Golf
Chapter 2. Any Way You Slice It, Golf Is a Beautiful Game
Chapter 3. The Patron Saint of Forgiveness: Seeking the Elusive Mulligan
Chapter 4. Couples Golf
Chapter 5. The Laws of Golf
Chapter 6. Forget Love—Laugh at the One You're With
Part II - The Power Game
Chapter 7. Desperately Seeking 3 Wood
Chapter 8. Making Fast Friends on the Links
Chapter 9. Hype Versus Reality—Can You Believe This?
Chapter 10. The Game of the Future? Let's Hope Not
Chapter 11. No Pain, No Gain
Part III - The Short Game
Chapter 12. Putting Stroke Du Jour
Chapter 13. Practice Schmactice
Chapter 14. Client Golf
Chapter 15. Golden Golf: Till Death Do Us Part
Chapter 16. Lucky Charms
Part IV - The Mental Game
Chapter 17. The Parboiled Language of Golf
Chapter 18. Weapons of Mass Instruction
Chapter 19. Gamesmanship
Chapter 20. E9
Chapter 21. The Tyranny of Par
Chapter 22. Remembering Why We Play
Chapter 23. Open Letter to the PGA Tour Commissioner
Chapter 24. Leaps of Faith
Part V - Course Management
Chapter 25. Golf or a Lime Exfoliation?
Chapter 26. March of the Haggis
Chapter 27. Shark Versus Bear
Chapter 28. Golf in the Middle of Nowhere
Chapter 29. Travels With Dave
Chapter 30. Dreaming My Dreams
Chapter 31. Whipped by the Master—Again
Part VI - Tales From the Tour
Chapter 32. The Thrill of Victory—Well, Almost
Chapter 33. A Babe in Mastersland
Chapter 34. A Primer on Golf Fashion
Chapter 35. How to Host a U.S. Open
Chapter 36. Looking Down at the Grass
Chapter 37. Whistling While You Work
Chapter 38. Bada-Bing—A Proposal to Improve the AT&T Pebble Beach National Pro-Am by Changing That Way-Too-Long Name and Bringing Back the Spirit of Bing Crosby
Part VII - The 19th Hole
Chapter 39. Dog is My Copilot
Chapter 40. Dew Sweepers, Diehards, and the Dearly Departed
Chapter 41. Dweezel and Chuckles Rip Me a Shred Stick
Chapter 42. My Favorite Excuse
Chapter 43. Top 10 New Year's Resolutions for Golfers
Chapter 44. The Power of the Pen
Chapter 45. Beam Me Out of the Woods, Scotty
"For those of us who spend time in that place called golf hell, this is a wonderful respite--a cool, refreshing vacation."
Craig T. Nelson
Actor, Star of Coach
"Congratulations! Every golfer should have this book and have a good old laugh! I love the style and laughed out loud on a flight as I was reading it. Everyone thought I was a lunatic! I love it!"
Actor and golf fanatic